


it continued with a pain

by Hibari_chan



Series: rusty edges [3]
Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Canonical Character Death, Depression, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Nightmares, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 09:10:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17301857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hibari_chan/pseuds/Hibari_chan
Summary: It is five years since Lawliet's death, but sometimes coping with the loss of someone you love can be hard and seemingly never ending.





	it continued with a pain

_Mello was exhausted. He already made peace with small children pulling on his long hair, drooling and chewing on them all the time, since he was somewhat used to it from Wammy’s house, but the constant bickering of theirs mothers played on his nerves._

_He reminded himself that he must suffer though this for Sayu’s sake since this was the day of her wedding, but that fact did nothing to help him survive the ordeal._

_She was so happy, walking hand in hand with her new husband who looked at her with open adoration. She was stunning in her long white wedding dress decorated with small pearls and lace that Mello was jealous of her._

_The wedding itself was grande event with lots of flowers and amazing music. Mr. Yagami tried his hardest to make this day memorable for his only daughter and Mrs. Yagami cried happy tears the whole time._

_Light was proud and smiled openly at his sister, wishing her the best of luck._

_In many ways it was the typical fairytale wedding with beautiful princess and her knight on white horse. It was sickening. Mello was glad it was almost over._

_L looked awkward in his expensive suit, crouching as always. He was currently talking with Light, their faces relaxed. The relationship between them was uncomfortable for a while, but it was slowly healing. Light worked on his infatuation with an Alpha with the help of therapist and L… well, his socials skills were nonexistent, so he probably didn’t notice any change in his relationship with Kira._

_He was completely futile._

_Mello got rid of his jacket and tie already and played with children on the blankets only in his shirt and without shoes. He was not the only male Omega in the room, but he avoided the older boy as well as he could. The pregnant belly was more than he could take right now._

_It reminded him painfully of his Alpha’s reluctance to get him with child. He was almost seventeen now and in his opinion old enough to have little baby to love and dote upon. L, Watari and even Roger didn’t share his opinion. All of them made sure he took his medication as was prescribed to avoid another heat._

_The Omega inside Mello took it as a proof that his mate didn’t desire him anymore._

_“Mello?”_

_The Omega smiled at Sayu. “Hey. Enjoying your wedding?” he asked politely. Sayu changed into pink dress that was more suitable to dancing and having fun and it looked good on her. “Your husband must be charmed by you already. How is he?”_

_Sayu sat on the blanket opposite to Mello and laughed as little girl in red dress immediately tried to climb on her lap. “It is amazing,” she said. “He is very nice to me and charming. I cannot wait to move into his apartment and begin our life together.”_

_“I am almost envious,” Mello smirked. “Yesterday you trembled with fear and look at you now.”_

_“Ryuzaki is still clueless?” she asked with little devils playing in her eyes._

_“Mhm. He is lost cause. He is in love with his cases more than with me. I am seriously considering a lover.”_

_Sayu laughed. “You would not.”_

_Mello shrugged. “Since the last heat he keeps his distance. He won’t touch me or kiss me. It is like he has no love for me left.”  
“I am so sorry, Mello. I am sure it will get better with time. Maybe he waits for you to be older?”_

_Mello gave Sayu a sad smile and hugged the baby boy who was playing with his hair. “Who knows.”_

_“I am gonna talk to him,” Sayu decided and stood up. “I cannot watch your rejected face anymore. It makes me depressed.”_

_“Sayu!”_

_“Nope,” she smiled mischievously. “You two have serious problem with communication. Really Mello. You two may be one of the smartest people in the world, but you are useless in real life.”_

_Mello snorted. “He is not gonna listen to you.”_

_“But I can try.”_

_With that Sayu walked through the dance floor, heading to the two Alphas, leaving the disturbed Omega behind._

_“Hello you two,” she said brightly. Light hugged her and gave her kiss on forehead._

_“Hey, sis. You look amazing.”_

_Sayu smiled. “Thank you, Light. Ryuzaki, you Omega miss your attention,” she said bluntly. “He is a bundle of unhappiness.”_

_L blinked, obviously confused._

_“Oh c’mon,” Sayu whined. “Go to him, ask him to dance with you or something. He believes you don’t love him anymore and we both know you look at him as if he hung the stars and the moon.”_

_Light actually laughed at L’s expression. “Go, Ryuzaki. We can talk later. I am gonna take my sister to the dance floor. I didn’t have the opportunity to dance with her yet.”_

_“All right,” murmured L and his eyes looked around until he found his Omega, playing with bunch of children. Mello just built a tower from coloured cubes for them and tried to taught them how to make their own. Older children were able to build it right away, so Mello helped only the younger ones who did not have good coordination skills yet._

_With sigh he went to him and carefully approached him._

_“Mello?” he said softly, watching his mate help small toddler to put one cube on another. Mello looked up to him with surprised expression._

_“Ryuzaki. I though you are busy.”_

_Alpha frowned. “Sayu said you think I do not love you anymore,” he explained. “So I went to you.”_

_Mello turned his attention back to the children who looked at the unfamiliar Alpha with caution._

_“Mello, what is wrong?” L asked after a while, when Mello managed to calm the children he was babysitting and knelt next to his Omega in his usual fashion. “Of course I love you, you are my mate.”_

_“You don’t act like it,” Mello complained._

_“What do you mean?”_

_Omega frowned. “You don’t touch me. Or kiss me. Not anymore. You spent your time with everyone else, but you pay no attention to me.”_

_L looked at his Omega as if Mello was mad._

_“Well,… you are still so young, Mello. Watari and Roger talked to me and we decided to wait until you are seventeen at least. They thought that giving our relationship some space would help, since you are too young to have children. It was meant for your own good, Mello.”_

_The Omega growled. “So you talk about our relationship with everyone else but me?” he said angrily. “What about my opinion or my feelings, Alpha? Don’t you think I should have the right to know about those decisions since they concern me? We are supposed to be partners, Ryuzaki! My voice should be more important to you than Watari’s or Roger’s.”_

_“It is,” L insisted. “It is, Mello. But you don’t think clearly…”_

_“Why? Because I am the weak Omega and I should bow to your judgment without complains?”_

_“No, Mello, I…”_

_“Is my desire to have children with you so incomprehensible?”_

_L lost his composure and he grasped Mello’s hand firmly. “I don’t want to lose you!” he growled at his mate with desperate fury in his eyes. “You are the world to me, Mello. I cannot risk your life. Omegas under twenty years of age have highest rate of death in childbirth and I will not risk your life until your body is strong enough to make it through safely!”_

_Mello was speechless._

_“I promised you a home full of children and I don’t plan to break that promise. I will give you as many children as you want, but not until you are little bit older.”_

_“You are selfish little bastard, Ryuzaki,” whispered the tiny Omega with resignation in his expression, but a little smile played on his lips. “I am sorry I doubted you. I know you… always care for me. I just… I…”_

_“It is all right, love. You do not need to explain anything,” he said softly, watching the children clinging to his mate. “I am sorry I hurt you.”_

_“Fine. No children until you deem me ready for it. But that doesn’t mean you cannot touch me or kiss me or sleep in bed with me, no?” Mello asked. “I need you by my side Ryuzaki. Please?”_

_L smiled at his beautiful Omega. “Deal then. You will not pester me with children and I will keep you close to me.”_

_“Yeah…” Mello sighed. Mostly, he was content knowing his Alpha was still planing on keeping the promise, but he could not help it to feel a little bit defeated. He silently watched those cute babies, playing with cubes and laughing, happy in the presence of an Omega and strong presence of Alpha - the perfect combination for small children to keep safe and looked after. He imagined they are his own for a while, lost in his own dream of happy family._

_“I hope that future will happen.”_

_L touched his Omega’s face with gentle care. “Why shouldn’t?”_

_Mello shrugged. “You still didn’t catch Kira.”_

_“It is just a matter of time. I just need to know how he kills his victims and then I will end it.”_

_“Even though he is your friend._

_“Of course.”_

_“And you respect him more than anyone, maybe even more than Watari. You are close like brothers, Lawliet,” Mello whispered._

_“It must be done.”_

_Mello slightly nodded, careful not to lose his Alpha’s touch. “Ya think I am bad for wanting him to live?”_

_“No. I would prefer it as well.”_

_“But he must die.”_

_L nodded. “He must die.”_

 

Mello woke up with a gasp. The sting of tears in his eyes was almost unbearable. He felt warm body by his side, sweat and tears on his face. He touched them with trembling fingers… they were hot and bittersweet. 

He could not help it, but cry out a little. The warm body by his side slightly moved, disturbed from theirs own sleep by Mello’s painful sobs. 

“Hey… bad dream again?” Matt asked quietly and pulled Mello closer. He put him arms around him, to offer protection and comfort to the crying, heartbroken Omega. “Lawliet again?” he asked softly and kissed Mello in his golden hair. “His death?” 

Mello shaken his head. “No,” he said in a rough voice through the tears. “Something that never happened. Long after his death… we were talking about children and… he was so sweet and caring and… I miss him, Matt… I miss him so much.”

“I know, Mello,” Matt whispered and kissed his lover on his naked shoulder. He covered him in pleasant, warm scent to show him he is safe and loved. “We will avenge him, together. Kira will die by your hands, I will do anything to make it happen.”

“It will not bring him back. Vengeance will never bring anyone back,” Mello sobbed. 

Matt turned Mello inside his arms so he faced him and started to kiss his tears away. Gently, respectfully to his grief that consumed him for almost five long years now. Matt was sure Lawliet would never wish for his beloved Omega to suffer this much, but he was the one who let himself be killed and left Mello alone in this cruel, bad world. That was something Matt will never forgive him for… even though he loved L as a mentor and friend.

He was there to keep those cracked fragments of Mello’s heart together now. Quite often he felt like he was totally failing in his mission and it terrified him how broken his childhood friend was.

He kissed twisted edges of Mello’s scar that was covering half of his beautiful face and one shoulder. 

“I am here now, Mello, and I love you. I know it is hard, he was the other half of your soul and your heart, I cannot even imagine the amount of pain you are in… I can never replace him, but he is not coming back. He is dead, love.”

“I know,” Mello whispered. “I love you too, just… just not like him.”

Matt smiled and kissed him. “I can live with that,” he said and kissed him again, slowly deepening the kiss. He meant it. He loved this feisty Omega that was ruled by emotions more than by his clever, genius brain. In his heart, it was always him.

He rolled Mello under him and made sure they were still covered by heavy blankets. Their home was never warm enough to be really comfortable and unless they were so lost in their passion they forgot about the cold, they always made sure to be clothed or covered enough not to get sick. 

It was gorgeous view — those big Omega eyes, soft skin, pinkish scar and long untamed locks of golden hair… spread all over the pillows. It was sort of masculine beauty mixed with gentleness and care. He could feel the love Mello had for him just from one look into his eyes. It always made his heart beat faster. 

Matt felt Mello spread his thighs apart to let him settle between them, welcoming his touch. Those slender pale arms reached for him and long fingers grabbed his hair and pulled at it slightly. Matt groaned and let his tongue and lips caress and provoke his lover with kisses all over his sensitive neck. Mello melted under his touch and threw his head back to show more of his skin. 

Mello usually preferred hard sex with lots of biting and pain, but after his nightmares he welcomed their lovemaking slow and gentle for a change. He needed kisses and words of love and care as those nightmares always completely destroyed his mental defences.

Matt continued with his kisses down from the ears to collarbone. Mello answered with silent hiss when he bitted him right there and sunk his teeth into his sensitive skin, careful not to draw blood. He caressed the spot with his tongue and went down to suck on Mello’s nipples. Mello was always very responsible and easy to please… he whined and cried out when Matt played with his nipples, sucking and biting and licking them. Matt felt his own erection grow in reaction to the sweet sounds that escaped Mello’s mouth. 

Apart from that burn scar Mello’s body was perfection. Under Matt’s lips was smooth skin, covered in sweet Omega scent that was unique to Mello. Under it he could feel hard muscles from all those work outs Mello put himself through four times a week. He could taste their mixed sweat from the sex earlier this evening. 

Matt was high on those wonderful fragrances and flavours that made this clever Omega his own. 

“Matt…” whispered Mello. “Matt, please…”

Beta smiled and reached down between Mello’s legs. Omega’s cock was hard and already dripping pre-cum. “Always so needy,” he chuckled and slide his fingers down to grab Mello’s ass and squeezed. Mello moaned and arched his back from the strong sensation that ran through his body. 

“Matt…” 

“Shh,” purred Matt and pushed his finger slowly inside Mello. “I will give you what you need.”

“Yeah?”

“But of course,” Matt assured him, moving his finger in and out. Slowly he added another finger and bent down to kiss his Omega. It was passionate kiss, Mello responded almost immediately and moved his hips to meet Matt’s fingers with every thrust inside his body. Mello’s fingers were still entangled with his hair, pulling him down in desperate motions.

Matt added third finger, opening his bed partner as much as he could to make this all smooth and painless. His hole was still all wet with his cum from hour ago so it was easy for his fingers to please his Omega gently but firmly. 

With their lips still caught in the deep, long kiss filled with promises and need, Matt reached out under theirs pillows to grab a bottle of strawberry scented lubricant that Mello preferred. 

It was always strawberry. It reminded him of Lawliet and made him feel more secure. All those strawberry tarts and lollipops.

“Ready, love?” he asked and kissed Mello’s chin.

“Stop asking and do it already!” growled his feisty Omega impatiently.

Matt smirked and covered his cock with sufficient amount of lube before he pushed inside that hot, greedy body. He enjoyed the expression of absolute satisfaction on Mello’s face when he finally pushed all the way in and filled him completely.

Mello was always quite quiet during sex. He enjoyed every push in with silent moan and when Matt drew himself out, even just a little, Mello pushed his own hips up immediately. They did it slowly. Matt covered Mello’s face with soft kisses and Mello’s hands stroked his naked back and the base of Matt’s neck. 

There was no need to hurry.

They moved in silent harmony, both lost in their own pleasure and need to touch the other one. Their moving and breaths quickened as those amazing feelings in their groins intensified. They touched each other more randomly, kisses very sloppy. Matt rested his forehead on Mello’s burned shoulder and started to move very quickly in and out, feeling his orgasm close.

Mello clenched his eyelids as he silently came, wave after wave full of pleasure hitting him hard. He bitten on his own lower lip… one small droplet of blood fell down on his chin. 

Matt moved some more until he as well was caught in his own orgasm. He growled and gripped Mello’s body hard as he spilled inside him. 

With a small grunt Matt moved himself next to Mello, letting the Omega breath. They lied on the mattress beside each other in comfortable silence, until Mello got up and without a single word disappeared behind the bathroom door. Matt heard the click of the lock.

+++

When Mello finally left the bathroom, he was wet from recent shower and dressed in long sleeved t-shirt and comfortable tracksuit. Matt sat on a couch in their small living room, watching television and drinking hot coffee.

“Hey, made ya some coffee. It’s on the kitchen line.”

“Thank you, Matt,” Mello murmured and reached for the cup. He carefully sipped on it, tasting the coffee. It was bitter. “We are out of sugar again?” he sighed. “That sucks.”

“I’m not the one with the grocery shopping duty this week, Mello. I added it on the shopping list thats on the fridge.”

“Thanks…”

Matt sighed. “Your eyes are all red. Ya cried in the bathroom?”

Mello just shrugged and sat down on the couch with his steaming cup. The silence between them was deafening.

“Mello, love, talk to me.”

“Its like I am cheating on him when I sleep with you,” Mello said quietly. “It is freaking me out, those feelings. What I feel for you, what I feel for him. Loving you both.”

Matt watched his boyfriend helplessly. “It is five years, Mello…”

“I KNOW!” the Omega cried with frustration. “He is dead and buried and I should move on, but I can’t! I can’t, Matt! He is part of me still. I feel him, his essence, everything thats left of him. How can I forget him, let him go, move on or anything, when I feel him inside as alive as five years ago?”

The pain in Mello’s voice was more than visible. Matt was never good with words, never knowing what to say or how to calm his boyfriend. In a way he was jealous of Lawliet. Even though he was dead for five years, Mello’s life was still spinning around him. Mello’s broken heart yearned for him… and his soul was, maybe, already dead and buried in Lawliet’s grave.

“Maybe I should have died with him,” Mello whispered. “The world lost his colours, you know? The day when Roger told me he died. Sometimes I see them, all those beautiful colours, when I am with you, content, happy, but they are fleeting, ungrateful things and always disappear. What will I do after me or Near defeats Kira? What meaning there will be for my existence?”

“You make me happy. Am I not reason enough? Me… and my love for you, Mello?”

Mello smiled sadly. “I love you as well, Matt. You know that. But you cannot mate me, I am already claimed. What if you find someone with clean neck? Who can be yours completely?”

Matt growled and took Mello’s chin between his fingers. “You are it, Mello. Whatever you like it or not, I am yours. I don’t care about mating, we can marry if you desire commitment. We can marry and have kids and live. He would wish you to live and be happy, we both know that.”

“And I thought I am the sappy part of our relationship, Matt,” Mello chuckled with tears in his eyes. 

“Hah,” smirked Matt. “Since there are three people in this relationship, I think we can exchange the sappy part sometimes. You know, we all have sappy moments, you cannot usurp it for yourself. Really, stop crying. You will ruin the coffee.”

“It is disgusting already.”

“You drama queen. There are foods and drinks without sugar in them, do you realise that?”

Mello shrugged. “Yep. They are disgusting.”

Matt smiled and pulled Mello closer for a kiss. With thumb he wiped tears from his pretty face and moved him in his lap. Mello quickly relaxed in his protective arms and rubbed his wet face against Matt’s t-shirt. “Lawliet would have been fucking proud at you, Mello. You are strong, resilient and you fight no matter how many obstacles are in your way, no matter how tired you are or how broken you feel. You have seen the world crumble around you but you are still standing. And if you will ever stumble, I will be there to catch you.”

The Omega nuzzled against him lovingly. “Thank you, Matt,” he whispered. “I would catch you too. I am gonna never let you fall down. We are gonna be standing tall until the end.”

“Yeah.”

“So… the kidnaping.”

“Yep. That’s next.”

“Gonna be a ride”

**Author's Note:**

> Well its hell of a ride. I am having so much fun writing this series! I love more mature Mello and I think Matt and Mello are one of the cutest pairs ever. They have such trust in each other and devotion to their cause, not afraid to risk their lives.
> 
> I hope you liked this one as well as me.
> 
> And do not worry - I have happy ending in my mind always :-)
> 
> I also plan a prompt week, seven days devoted to exploring Mello and L's relationship. I am open for suggestions :-)


End file.
